幽默的英文小故事帶翻譯篇一：英語幽默小故事9篇

英語幽默小故事9篇(帶翻譯)如下：

1、Midway Tactics

Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for

mayhem to ensue.

The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".

中間戰(zhàn)術(shù)

蘇州福斯特英語三個互相爭生意的商店老板在一條商業(yè)街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。

右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：“大減價!”“特便宜!”左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：“大砍價!”“大折扣!”

中間的商人隨后準備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：“入口處”。

2、Very Pleased to Meet You

army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.

One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.

Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.

Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."

蘇州福斯特英語"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."

"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"在第二次世界大戰(zhàn)中，有許多年輕的婦女在軍營中服役。瓊.飛利浦斯是其中之一。她在一個大軍營中工作，當然遇到了許多男士，包括軍官和士兵。一天晚上她在舞會上遇到了軍官漢弗雷斯。他對她說，“我明天就要出國，但如果我們能夠相互寫信，我會很高興。”瓊同意了，于是他們幾個月里一直通著信。

英格蘭的某個部隊醫(yī)院里。

瓊到了醫(yī)院，她對護士長說，“我來看望軍官漢弗雷斯�！�

“這里只有親屬可以探望病人。”護士長說。

“噢，是的，”瓊說，“我是他的妹妹�！�

“很高興認識你，”護士長說，“我是他的母親�！�

3、Two Soldiers

Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"

Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.

Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.

Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"

Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.

George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.

"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.

George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"

軍營里有二名士兵，一個叫喬治，一個叫比爾。喬治問：“比爾，你有信紙、信封嗎?”

比爾說：“有�！比缓蟀研偶埡托欧饨o了喬治。

喬治又說：“我還沒有筆呢�！北葼栍职炎约旱墓P給了他。喬治開始寫信。寫完后把信放進信封里，又問：“比爾，你有郵票嗎?”比爾給了他一張。這時比爾站起來，向門口走去。喬治問：“你要出去嗎?”

比爾說：“是的�！彪S即打開了門。

喬治說：“請幫我把這封信投進辦公室的信箱里，還有...”他停住了�！澳氵�要什么?”比爾問。

喬治看著信封說：“你女朋友的地址是-?”

4、Five Months Older

The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.

But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said.

"Eighteen, sir," said John.

"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"

"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."

大五個月

第二次世界大戰(zhàn)開始了，約翰想?yún)④�，可他只有十六歲，當時規(guī)定男孩到十八歲才能入伍。所以軍醫(yī)給他進行體檢時，他說他已經(jīng)十八歲了。

可約翰的哥哥剛?cè)胛闆]幾天，而且也是這個軍醫(yī)給他做的檢查。這位醫(yī)生還記得他哥哥的姓。所以當他看到約翰的表格時，感到非常驚奇。

“你多大了?”軍醫(yī)問。

“十八，長官�！奔s翰說。

“可你的哥哥也是十八歲，你們是雙胞胎嗎?”

約翰臉紅了，說：“哦，不是，長官，我哥哥比我大五個月�！�

5、West Point

My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."

幽默的英文小故事帶翻譯篇二：幽默英語小故事(中英文對照)

A Soldier's Brilliant Idea

Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.

When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.

Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.

英語幽默：士兵坐飛機有美女陪伴的高招

由于生意方面的事，羅賓遜先生得出趟門。因為有點緊急，他決定坐飛機。乘機旅行時，他喜歡靠窗坐，故而一登機，他就尋找一個靠窗的座位。他發(fā)現(xiàn)只有一個靠窗的座位還空著。在那空座位邊坐著一名士兵。令羅賓遜先生納悶的是，這位士兵沒有坐靠窗的位置。羅賓遜先生不管那些，他馬上徑直朝那個空座位走去。

然而，等到了那兒，他看見座位上有則啟事，是用鋼筆寫的：“為保持裝載平衡，特預(yù)設(shè)該位置，謝謝合作。”羅賓遜先生還從來沒有在飛機上見過如此不同尋常的啟事。不過，他想飛機上一定裝了什么特別重的物品，于是他找了個不靠窗的位置。

又有兩三個乘客試圖坐在那個士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他們看到那則啟事就走開了。當快滿座時，一位非常美麗的姑娘匆匆走進機艙。一直在注意進艙旅客的那個士兵趕緊拿掉他旁邊空座位上的啟事。士兵用這種辦法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。

故事一：

One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.

一天晚上，一家旅館失火，住在這家旅館里的人穿著睡衣就跑了出來。

Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.

兩個人站在外面，看著大火。

Before I came out, said one, I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find. No one will be poorer because I took them.

在我出來之前，其中一個說，我跑進一些房間，找到了一大筆錢。人在恐懼中是不會想到錢的。如果有人把紙幣留在火里，火就會把它燒成灰燼，所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了，沒有人會因為我拿走它們而變得更窮。

You don't know my work, said the other.

你不知道我是干什么的，另一個說。

What is your work?

你是干什么的？

I'm a policeman.

我是警察。

Oh! cried the first man. He thought quickly and said, and do you know my work? No, said the policeman.

噢！第一個人喊了一聲，他靈機一動，說：那你知道我是干什么的？不知道。警察說。 I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.

我是個作家，我總是愛編一些從未發(fā)生過的故事。

故事二：

Three competing store owners rented adjoining（毗連的） shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem（故意的傷害罪，蓄意的破壞） to ensue.

三個互相爭生意的商店老板在一條商業(yè)街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪，旁觀者等著瞧好戲。 The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains! 右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：大減價!特便宜!

The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts!

左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：大砍價!大折扣!

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, ENTRANCE. 中間的商人隨后準備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：入口處。

故事三：

A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have no doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, I’ll leave Oxford this very evening！”

A buzzing noise followed. “What a man of actions！” one said in admiration. “How should we support him and learn from him！” said another.

Suddenly, a girl asked, “What did the Dean say to you, Hob?”

He bent and whispered to

her, “Well,er???er???Miss Rose, er???he told me to get clean away from Oxford this very evening！”

一個言出必行的人

一群學(xué)生聚在牛津的校園里，一個年輕人情緒激動地叫道：“毋庸置疑，如果那個家伙不收回他今早對我說的話，我今晚就離開牛津�！�

下面一片喧嘩�！罢媸莻�言出必行的人。”一個人艷羨地說。另一個說：“我們要支持他、學(xué)習(xí)他�！�

突然，一個女孩問道：“那家伙對你說什么了，霍波？”他彎下腰小聲說：“哦，呃…呃…，羅斯小姐，呃…他說要我今晚從牛津滾出去�！�

幽默的英文小故事帶翻譯篇三：英語幽默小故事

英語幽默小故事10篇(帶翻譯)如下：

Midway Tactics

Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中間戰(zhàn)術(shù)

三個互相爭生意的商店老板在一條商業(yè)街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：“大減價!”“特便宜!”

左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：“大砍價!”“大折扣!”

中間的商人隨后準備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：“入口處”。

Very Pleased to Meet You

During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I?m going abroad

tomorrow, but I?d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.

Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.

Joan went there and said to the matron, "I?ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."

"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.

"Oh, that?s all right," answered Joan. "I?m his sister."

"I?m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I?m his mother!"

在第二次世界大戰(zhàn)中，有許多年輕的婦女在軍營中服役。瓊.飛利浦斯是其中之一。她在一個大軍營中工作，當然遇到了許多男士，包括軍官和士兵。

一天晚上她在舞會上遇到了軍官漢弗雷斯。他對她說，“我明天就要出國，但如果我們能夠相互寫信，我會很高興。”瓊同意了，于是他們幾個月里一直通著信。

后來，他再沒有來信。她收到了另一個軍官的信，告訴她，他受傷了，住在英格蘭的某個部隊醫(yī)院里。

瓊到了醫(yī)院，她對護士長說，“我來看望軍官漢弗雷斯�！�

“這里只有親屬可以探望病人�！弊o士長說。

“噢，是的，”瓊說，“我是他的妹妹�！�

“很高興認識你，”護士長說，“我是他的母親。”

Two Soldiers

Two soldiers were in camp. The first one?s name was George, and the second one?s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"

Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.

Then George said, "Now I haven?t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.

George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.

"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.

George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What?s your girl-friend?s address?"

軍營里有二名士兵，一個叫喬治，一個叫比爾。喬治問：“比爾，你有信紙、信封嗎?”比爾說：“有�！比缓蟀研偶埡托欧饨o了喬治。

喬治又說：“我還沒有筆呢�！北葼栍职炎约旱墓P給了他。喬治開始寫信。寫完后把信放進信封里，又問：“比爾，你有郵票嗎?”比爾給了他一張。

這時比爾站起來，向門口走去。喬治問：“你要出去嗎?”

比爾說：“是的�！彪S即打開了門。

喬治說：“請幫我把這封信投進辦公室的信箱里，還有...”他停住了。

“你還要什么?”比爾問。

喬治看著信封說：“你女朋友的地址是-?”

Five Months Older

The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.

But John?s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy?s family name, so when he saw John?s papers, he was surprised.

"How old are you?" he said.

"Eighteen, sir," said John.

"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"

"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."大五個月

第二次世界大戰(zhàn)開始了，約翰想?yún)④�，可他只有十六歲，當時規(guī)定男孩到十八歲才能入伍。所以軍醫(yī)給他進行體檢時，他說他已經(jīng)十八歲了。

可約翰的哥哥剛?cè)胛闆]幾天，而且也是這個軍醫(yī)給他做的檢查。這位醫(yī)生還記得他哥哥的姓。所以當他看到約翰的表格時，感到非常驚奇。

“你多大了?”軍醫(yī)問。

“十八，長官�！奔s翰說。

“可你的哥哥也是十八歲，你們是雙胞胎嗎?”

約翰臉紅了，說：“哦，不是，長官，我哥哥比我大五個月。”

West Point

My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."

One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."

父親、哥哥和我到西點軍校去觀看一場陸軍與波士頓大學(xué)之間的橄欖球賽。開始之前，我們到處轉(zhuǎn)了轉(zhuǎn)，碰到許多穿著整齊制服的學(xué)員。幾名游客問新兵是否愿意擺出軍姿來讓他們攝�！昂米屛覀兊膬鹤又�，如果他到西點軍校來學(xué)習(xí)會得到什么。”

一對中年夫婦走近一名非常漂亮的女學(xué)員，問她是否愿意擺個姿勢照相。他們解釋說：“我們想讓兒子知道他沒來西點軍校錯過了什么�！�

(6)Present for Girlfriend

At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.

The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ?To my one and only love?. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again."

送給女友的禮物

在一家珠寶店里，一位年輕人買了一個貴重的小金盒作為送給女友的禮物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面嗎?”珠寶商問道。

那名顧客想了一會兒，然后說道：“不--在上面刻?給我唯一的愛?。這樣，如果我們鬧崩了，我還可以再用到它。”

Be Careful What You Wish For

A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.

During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.

The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband?s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I?d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."

The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.

慎重許愿

一對結(jié)婚25周年的夫妻在慶祝他們六十歲的生日。他們恰好在同一天出生。

慶�；顒又�，一位仙女出現(xiàn)了。她說，由于他們是已經(jīng)結(jié)婚25年的恩愛夫妻，因此她給許給這對夫妻每個人一個愿望。

妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手�！皡�!”的一聲，她的手中出現(xiàn)了一張票。

接下來該丈夫許愿了。他猶豫片刻，害羞地說，“那我想要一位比我年輕30歲的女人�！毕膳捌鹆四g(shù)棒�！皡�!”，他變成了90歲。

Wood Fire

One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Husbands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened."

"Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves?"

森林之火 一名婦女向她最好的朋友大談雄性動物的特性：“丈夫們就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他們就會燃燒起來�！� “那是不是意味著，”另一個問道，“他們將自己燒成灰燼?”Best Reward

A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.

"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I?d pulled you out, they?d chuck me in."

最好的獎賞 一名海軍軍官從甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。這位軍官問如何才能酬謝他。 “最好的辦法，長官，”這名水手說，“是別聲張這事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他們會把我扔下去的。”

Napoleon Was Ill

Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the

university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.

"He?s a good boy," said Jack?s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I?m sure he?ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."

"No, no, that?s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn?t know!"

"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack?s father. "You see, I?m afraid we don?t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."

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