幽默英文對(duì)話
發(fā)布時(shí)間:2017-02-12 來(lái)源: 幽默笑話 點(diǎn)擊： 
幽默英文對(duì)話篇一：搞笑英語(yǔ)對(duì)話
我家dad，脾氣bad，讓我sad。
有只cat，非常fat，專吃rat。
放下plate，趕到gate，已經(jīng)late。
清晨wake，來(lái)到lake，釣上snake。
撇下net，魚(yú)沒(méi)get，衣服wet。
為捉pest，從不rest，本領(lǐng)best。
一只pig，非常big，把洞dig。
沒(méi)給tip，把我lip，裝上zip。
一只kite，顏色white，被狗bite。
學(xué)會(huì)ride，媽媽pride。
清晨jog，帶上dog，踩到frog。
輕輕hop，跳上top，唱起pop。
把眼close，用我nose，去聞rose。
喝著coke，聽(tīng)著joke，把腰broke。
舉著gun，瞄準(zhǔn)sun，不停run。
小小bug，把我hug。
找個(gè)excuse，借車use，遭到refuse。
假裝mute，真是cute。
開(kāi)著car，向著star，路途far。
想變smart，必須start，學(xué)習(xí)art。
一個(gè)driver，掉進(jìn)river，生命over。
一個(gè)robber，專搶rubber。
穿上shirt，脫下skirt，扔進(jìn)dirt。
這只bird，總跑third。
個(gè)子short，喜歡sport，跑到airport。
拿著fork，吃著pork。
一個(gè)nurse，丟了purse。
買只turtle，顏色purple。
一只goat，穿件coat，上了boat, 一片oat，卡在throat。
燃燒oil，直到boil，倒進(jìn)soil。
是否join，拋起coin。
帶上hook，來(lái)到brook，水面look。
手拿book，一邊look，開(kāi)始cook。
炎熱noon，跳上spoon，飛到moon。
一個(gè)fool，掉進(jìn)pool，真是cool。
西瓜round，長(zhǎng)在ground，被我found。
一只mouse，穿件blouse，走進(jìn)house。
天在snow，風(fēng)在blow，樹(shù)在grow, 秋風(fēng)follow，樹(shù)葉yellow，落到pillow, 不知cow，近況how，去問(wèn)now。
一座town，不停down，快要drown。
一只bee，躲進(jìn)tree，沒(méi)人see。
懸崖deep，開(kāi)著jeep，莫要sleep。
抱著B(niǎo)arbie，吃著cookie，看著movie。
被我niece，摔成piece。
丟了glue，沒(méi)有clue，臉氣blue。
手拿tissue，排好queue。
一顆pea，掉進(jìn)sea，泡壺tea。
身體weak，爬上peak，無(wú)力speak。
吞進(jìn)lead，摸摸head，已經(jīng)dead。
吃著bread，報(bào)紙spread，開(kāi)始read。
不停train，沒(méi)有pain，哪有g(shù)ain。
把手raise，老師praise。
小狗paw，那根straw，把畫(huà)draw。坐在lawn，學(xué)習(xí)law。
被窩cozy，床上lazy，真是crazy。
抱著puppy，心里happy。
如果shy，不敢try，機(jī)會(huì)fly。不停cry，眼淚dry。
很多day，沒(méi)發(fā)pay，無(wú)話say。
天空gray，無(wú)心play，回家stay。
頑皮monkey，撿起key，扔向donkey, 為了honey，節(jié)省money。
有個(gè)boy，玩著toy，心中joy, 跳進(jìn)soy，盡情enjoy。
一只hare，居然dare，對(duì)我stare, 困難share，互相care，趕走scare。
天氣fair，涼爽air，吹拂hair。嶄新chair，滾下stair，需要repair。
昨天fire，今天hire，后天retire。撲滅fire，真是tire。
離我near，含著tear，叫我dear。一頭bear，裙子wear，采摘pear。
一只deer，舉起beer，大喊cheers。這個(gè)engineer，事事pioneer。
洗完face，系好lace，參加race。吃著rice，加點(diǎn)ice，口喊nice。
聽(tīng)聽(tīng)music，變變magic，遲遲garlic�？赐阠omic，野外picnic。
動(dòng)作quic
身體ill，買來(lái)pill，堆成hill。一根needle，掉進(jìn)noodle。
飯后hurry，書(shū)包c(diǎn)arry，遲到sorry。我家parrot，愛(ài)吃carrot。
做個(gè)dream，掉進(jìn)stream，大聲scream。穿著dress，下著chess。
一輛truck，滿載duck，一路luck。碰到trouble，努力double。
小小age，讀讀page，種種orange。打開(kāi)fridge，端出porridge，扔下bridge。 喝酒enough，大聲laugh，不停cough。他很tough從不laugh。
心中wish，釣到fish，做成dish。飛機(jī)crash，燒成ash，損失cash。
一個(gè)youth，張開(kāi)mouth，吹到south。洗完bath，學(xué)習(xí)math。
我的mother，生個(gè)brother，想要another。寒冷weather，身披leather，頭戴feather。 高高sky，不知why，掉下spy。站在peak，對(duì)天speak。
到了night，打開(kāi)light，保護(hù)sight。方法right，堅(jiān)持fight，前途bright。 一只chick，動(dòng)作quick，把我kick。吃飯quiet，注意diet。
貓吃mice，味道nice，想吃twice。這對(duì)twin，總是win。
幽默英文對(duì)話篇二：搞笑英語(yǔ)兩人短對(duì)話
男:Hello, I’m Ben. May I ask you some questions?
女:Sure.
男:What is your father’s name?
女:Happy!
男:Then, What is your mother’s name?
女:Smile!
男:Are you joking?
女:No! That’s my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census staff? 男:Of course not.
女:Go ahead.
男:OK. Your name is Kidding. Kidding, I'm going to start a
band. Will you join us?
女:Sure, Ben. I'd love to be in a band
男:OK, good. Which instrument do you play? I heard that you
can play piano very well.
女:Piano? I don't play an instrument actually.
男:What are you good at?
女:I sing. I like music with great lyrics.
男: So do I. Who else do you think can join us?
女:Well, Dave is supposed to be a good one.
男:Really? What does he like?
女:He prefers quiet music.
男:Good. How about Harry? He plays the guitar, doesn’t he? 女:Yes, but Harry loves loud music such as disco . 男:That's OK. I often go to disco with my friends.
女:You mean we can play both loud music and quiet music? 男:Why not?
女:What kind of music style do you prefer, Ben?
男:Oh, I like music that I can dance to.
But we have one problem with our band
女:what is it?
男:I'm not a musician and I can't sing.
女:Are you joking?
男:No, that’s your sister’s name. Just now I was kidding. 女:Well, that makes sense?!
幽默英文對(duì)話篇三：搞笑英語(yǔ)對(duì)話
1.簡(jiǎn)要介紹你自己。 簡(jiǎn)歷上都有，寫(xiě)得很詳細(xì)。 2.你為什么對(duì)這份工作感興趣？ 說(shuō)實(shí)話，我并不感興趣，但人不能沒(méi)有工作，找到一份先干著。
3.談?wù)勀愕膬?yōu)勢(shì)？
你是說(shuō)跟其他的應(yīng)聘者相比嗎？我不認(rèn)識(shí)他們。
4.談?wù)勀阕畲蟮娜觞c(diǎn)是什么？
太老實(shí)，領(lǐng)導(dǎo)怎么說(shuō)我怎么干。
5.為什么你認(rèn)為自己適合這個(gè)職位？
你們招聘廣告上只有這么一個(gè)職位。
6.你的簡(jiǎn)歷上有些什么值得特別關(guān)注的嗎？
封面比較漂亮，花了兩塊多錢做的。
7.你為什么選擇這個(gè)專業(yè)？
瞎選的，當(dāng)時(shí)不知道自己喜歡干什么。
8.你有哪些興趣愛(ài)好呢？
業(yè)余時(shí)間喜歡當(dāng)暴露狂。
9.你對(duì)于短期和長(zhǎng)期的目標(biāo)是什么？
短期目標(biāo)是先生存下來(lái)，長(zhǎng)期的目標(biāo)還不知道，人生就像巧克力嘛。
10.如果我向你的朋友或者家人詢問(wèn)對(duì)你的評(píng)價(jià)，你認(rèn)為他們會(huì)怎樣說(shuō)？
我覺(jué)得你聰明的話應(yīng)該去問(wèn)我的仇人，這樣得到的答案更有參考價(jià)值。
12.你爭(zhēng)取成功的動(dòng)力是什么？ 成功才會(huì)有錢，有錢就有了女人 15.你能向我列舉一個(gè)團(tuán)隊(duì)活動(dòng)和領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力的例子嗎？ 我在大學(xué)就喜歡賭博，每次打牌都是我組織的。
16.你經(jīng)歷過(guò)最大的挑戰(zhàn)是什么？你如何跨越它的？
在大學(xué)賭博被抓，學(xué)校要開(kāi)除我，后來(lái)我給教導(dǎo)主任買了6條“中華”，軟包裝的。
17.我為什么要從這么多應(yīng)聘者中選擇你呢？
你的問(wèn)題為什么要我來(lái)回答。
18.你有一些什么問(wèn)題嗎？
加班的話有沒(méi)有便當(dāng)？
19.你去年的收入是多少？你對(duì)于報(bào)酬有什么樣的期望？
我去年玩了一年，沒(méi)收入。我對(duì)報(bào)酬的期望是：盡你們所能給的越多越好。
20.在過(guò)去的日子里，你覺(jué)得自己最大的成就是什么？
在這個(gè)世界上活了二十多年還沒(méi)死。
21.曾經(jīng)有人要求你去做一些不道德的事情嗎？如果有，你是怎么處理的呢？ 不是每次都去，我有我自己的原則。
22.如果你完全不同意你上司的某個(gè)要求，你怎么處理？
同意。
26.你怎樣在一堆根本做不完的工作任務(wù)中區(qū)分輕重緩急？
反正做不完，區(qū)分出來(lái)又有什么用？
27.為什么下水道的井蓋是圓的？
如果是方的你又要問(wèn)為什么是方的。不管怎樣它總得有個(gè)形狀吧。
30.有哪些因素可能會(huì)讓你失去動(dòng)力或信心？
獎(jiǎng)金比別人的少。
31.對(duì)于你來(lái)說(shuō)，與團(tuán)隊(duì)一起工作和獨(dú)自干活哪樣效率更高？ 那要看干什么活了。如果是拔河當(dāng)然團(tuán)隊(duì)比較好，如果是泡mm還是獨(dú)自效率比較高。 32.積極的態(tài)度對(duì)你有多重要？ 我不看重態(tài)度，我重視的是結(jié)果。
33.你怎樣定義成功？
認(rèn)識(shí)你的人都羨慕你，這就是成功。
34.你大學(xué)階段最大的遺憾是什么？
錢不是很夠花。
35.你曾經(jīng)做過(guò)的最難的決定是什么？
別人約我去做不道德的事，我考慮到底去不去。
36.你理想的工作是什么？
我說(shuō)了你能幫我實(shí)現(xiàn)嗎？
38.你離開(kāi)原來(lái)的公司主要原因是什么？
女上司對(duì)我進(jìn)行性騷擾。
39、你到一個(gè)新的公司，如果你的下屬各方面都比你強(qiáng)，你應(yīng)該怎么處理與他的關(guān)系？ 設(shè)法把他調(diào)到別的部門(mén)。
40、你希望你的上級(jí)應(yīng)當(dāng)是個(gè)怎么樣的人？
大方的人。 來(lái)源：PrintHR
1 briefly introduce yourself.
The resume has, to write a very detailed.
2 why are you interested in this job?
To tell you the truth, I was not interested, but people can not find a job, to do.
3 talk about your strengths?
You mean like other candidates compared? I don't know them.
4 what is your biggest weakness?
Too honest, leading to say I do.
5 why do you feel you are right for this position?
Your advertisement only one position.
6 your resume what deserves special attention?
The cover is more beautiful, spent two yuan of money to do.
7 Why do you choose this major?
Blind choice, do not know what love was.
8 what are your hobbies?
Spare time likes when exposed.
9 you for the short and long term goals?
Short term goal is to survive, the long-term goal is not to know, life was like a box of chocolates. 10 if I were to ask your friends or family members to ask of you, how do you think they will say? I think you smart you should ask my enemy, so the answer more reference value.
12 what motivates you to succeed?
Success will have the money, money is a woman
15 can you give me an example of teamwork and leadership examples?
I in university like gambling, each time playing cards are my organization.
16 you have experienced what is the biggest challenge? And how did you overcome it?
In the University of gambling is caught, the school wants to fire me, then I give the director bought 6" Chinese", soft packaging.
17 Why should I from so many candidates to choose you?
You want me to answer the question why.
18 do you have any questions?
If there is no easy work overtime?
19 of your income last year is a number? What are your compensation expectations?
Last year I played one year, no income. I on the expectation of reward is: what you can do to the more the better.
20 in the past days, you feel what is the greatest achievement?
In this world live more than 20 years is not dead.
21 have you ever been asked to do something unethical? If yes, how did you handle it? Not every time to go, I have my own principles.
22 If you totally disagree with a request made by your manager, how do you deal with? Agree.
26 how do you in a pile of fundamental do not finish the task to distinguish the order of priority? Anyway, do not finish, to distinguish what is the use?
27 why is a manhole cover round?
If you want to ask why is a square is a square. No matter what it had to have a shape.
30 factors which may cause you to lose power or confidence?
Bonus less than others.
31 for you, working with a team and working alone as higher efficiency?
It depends on what live. If it is of course good tug of war team, if mm foam or alone high efficiency.
32 to you is a positive attitude?
I don't care what attitude, I value the results.
33 what is your definition of success?
You know people admire you, this is the successful.
34 your university what is your greatest regret?
Money is not enough.
35 you have done what was the most difficult decision?
Others about me to be immoral, I consider whether to go.
36 what is your ideal job?
I said can you help me?
38 you leave the original company is mainly due to what?
The female boss sexually harasses me.
39, you go to a new company, if your subordinates are all better than you, you should be how to deal with the relationship with him?
Managed to have him transferred to another department.
40, you want your supervisor should be a man?
The generous man.
相關(guān)熱詞搜索：英文 對(duì)話 幽默 幽默簡(jiǎn)短的英文對(duì)話 幽默的英文情景對(duì)話
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