小幽默的英文篇一：英語(yǔ)幽默小笑話

英語(yǔ)幽默小笑話：Goldfish 金魚(yú)

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚(yú)。

Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

弗雷德：你想在哪兒養(yǎng)它們？

Stan: In the bathroom.

斯丹：浴室。

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時(shí)怎么辦？

Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛） them!

斯丹：蒙住它們的眼睛！

英語(yǔ)單詞講解：

blindfold vt. (作名詞時(shí)意思是眼罩)

1. (用布或帶)蒙住…的眼睛；蒙住(眼睛)：

The victim was blindfolded.

受害者被蒙住了眼睛。

to blindfold the hostage

蒙住人質(zhì)的眼睛

2. 妨礙視力；遮住(或擋住)…的視線：

The tall man in the front blindfolded me.

前面的高個(gè)子男人擋住了我的視線。

3. 使不理解，使失去識(shí)別能力(或判斷力、覺(jué)察力)；使模糊不清；使遲鈍；

使迷惑；蒙騙：

to blindfold you to the true purpose of her invitation

被蒙蔽而看不出她邀你的真正目的

英語(yǔ)幽默小對(duì)話

1】A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。

“昨天給你的錢干什么了？”

“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說(shuō)。 “你真是個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說(shuō)�！霸俳o你兩分錢�？赡銥槭裁磳�(duì)那位老太太那么感興趣呢？”

“她是個(gè)賣糖果的�！�

小幽默的英文篇二：英語(yǔ)幽默小笑話大全

英語(yǔ)幽默小笑話大全

1.a kiss

At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it.

The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech."

The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'"

2.a great man

Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?

Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.

一名偉人

老師：如果莎士比亞還活著，他會(huì)是一名偉人嗎？

學(xué)生：當(dāng)然。因?yàn)榈侥壳盀橹�，還沒(méi)有人活到400多歲。

3.buying your ticket

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all!) When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip.

To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant.

"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "ticket, please."

4.

Two Cute dogs

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.

He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"

The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."

The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.

"Ouch," he says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"

The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog."

Two Cute dogs

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.

He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"

The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."

The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.

"Ouch," he says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"

The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog."蘇子瑋

小幽默的英文篇三：英語(yǔ)幽默小笑話大全

英語(yǔ)幽默小笑話大全

1.a kiss

At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it.

The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech."

The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'"

2.A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

Little Johnny then stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

一個(gè)老師在對(duì)學(xué)生們講心理學(xué)，“誰(shuí)認(rèn)為自己蠢就站起來(lái)？”她一開(kāi)始就說(shuō)。

小約翰尼站了起來(lái)。

“你認(rèn)為你很蠢嗎，小約翰尼？”老師問(wèn)。

“不是的，老師，我只是不喜歡看你一個(gè)人站著。”

3.a great man

Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?

Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.

一名偉人

老師：如果莎士比亞還活著，他會(huì)是一名偉人嗎？ 學(xué)生：當(dāng)然。因?yàn)榈侥壳盀橹�，還沒(méi)有人活到400多歲。

4Two Cute dogs

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does

your dog bite?" The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite." The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch," he says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!" The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog."

6.Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

警察：有人搶你的手表時(shí)，你為什么不呼救呢？ 男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆

金牙。那就更糟了。

7.The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

一個(gè)小女孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。

“沒(méi)有關(guān)系，”一位先生說(shuō)，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語(yǔ)嗎：‘吠狗不咬人�！�

“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？”

8.Class and Ass

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