動物英語幽默小故事篇一：英語幽默小故事

英語幽默小故事

Where is the egg?

Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?

Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday.

Teacher:Then where is the “egg"?

Student:In the cake,Sir.

雞蛋在哪里？

老師：你能用“雞蛋”一詞造句嗎？

學(xué)生：可以。我昨天吃了一塊蛋糕。

老師：“雞蛋”在哪？

學(xué)生：在蛋糕里，先生

Son: Dad, give me a dime.

Father: Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes? Son: I guess you're right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you?

兒子：爸爸，給我一角錢。

父親：兒子，你不認(rèn)為你已經(jīng)長大了，不該再老是一角一角地要錢了(該自立了)，不是嗎？

兒子：爸爸，我想你是對的，那給我一塊錢行嗎？

I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”

“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”

“Yes，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”

“對不起，夫人，為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元�！�

“20美元！為什么？不是說好只要4美元�！�

“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個病人嚇跑了。”

Ten Candies

Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”

“Ten.” Jim says.

“Then,” Mother asks.

“Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn’t it right?”

十塊糖

媽媽問兒子：“吉姆，如果你有10塊糖，吃了4塊，那你還有幾塊糖？” “10塊。”吉姆說。

“10塊？”媽媽問。

“是的，媽媽。因為4塊在我的肚子里面，6塊在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不對嗎？”

It’s Good to Admit a Fault

John is not a “good” student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again. “John!” Teacher says angrily.

“What? What’s wrong?” John is awaken.

“Why do you make a face? It’s classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing.” Teacher says.

“No one is laughing.” Teacher says.

“No, it’s not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping.” John fells upset.

“Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy.” Teacher is satisfied with it.

認(rèn)錯

約翰并不是個“好”學(xué)生。他總是在上課的時候睡覺。今天他又睡著了。 “約翰！”老師生氣地喊他。

“什么？出什么事了？”約翰醒了。

“你為什么要做鬼臉？這是教室！看看！同學(xué)們都在笑！”老師生氣地說。 “沒有人在笑呀�！逼渌�同學(xué)笑聲地嘀咕。

“不，不是我。我沒有做鬼臉。剛才我睡著了。”約翰感到不安。

“嗯，還不錯。你承認(rèn)自己的錯誤，還是給好孩子”老師為此感到滿意。

Adding Feet to a Snake

One day, Mr. Lion holds a party. Many animals come and drink a lot of wine. At last there is a pot of wine. Who can drink it? They drink out an idea and decide to have a match-Draw a snake. If you finish first, you can get it.

Soon Mr.Wolf finishes drawing. “Yeah, I’ve finished. I’m No.1,” he says. But he draws again and says, “Oh, let me add feet and my snake.” At the time, Mr. Gorilla also finishes. He takes away the pot of wine and drinks, then he says, “That isn’t a snake. Snakes have no feet. I get the wine.”

畫蛇添足

一天，獅子先生舉行一場聚會，許多動物都來了，他們喝很多酒。最后只剩一

壺酒了。讓誰喝呢？它們想了想，有個主意。它們比賽畫蛇，誰最快畫

好，誰就喝這壺酒。

不一會，狼先生畫好了�！肮�，我畫好了，我是第一個�！彼�說�？墒撬�又畫了起來，它還說：“再給它加幾只腳吧�！边@是猩猩先生也畫好了。它拿起那酒壺喝起來。一邊喝一邊說：“那不是蛇，蛇是沒有腳的，我贏了這壺酒�！�

Covering One’s Ears While Stealing a Bell

Mr. Wang thinks he is clever, but he always does foolish things.

One day he sees a beautiful bell at the top of a door. “Oh! How nice! I will take it home.” He thinks, “What can I do?” After a while he has a “good” idea. “Aha! I have an idea now. I can plug my ears. Then I will not hear the ring when I take off the bell.”

Then he does so. But as soon as he takes off the bell, the owner opens the door. “What ate you doing?” the owner says angrily.

掩耳盜鈴

王先生總以為自己很聰明，實際上他總干傻事。

一天，他看見一戶人家的門頭有個很漂亮的鈴鐺�！鞍。�真漂亮��！我要把它拿回家去�！彼�自言自語道：“我該怎么做呢？”過了一會兒他想到了一個“好”主意。“啊哈！我有辦法了！我把耳朵堵上，拿鈴鐺的時候就聽不見鈴聲了�！�

于是他就這樣做了。可是他剛拿下鈴鐺，屋子的主人就打開門，怒氣沖沖地說：“你在干什么？”

Look at the Sky from the Bottom of a Well

There is a frog. He lives in a well and he never goes out of the well. He thinks the sky is as big as the mouth of the well.

One day a crow comes to the well. He sees the frog and says, “Frog, let’s have a talk.” Then the frog asks, “Where are you from?” “I fly from the sky,” the crow says. The frog feels surprised and says, “The sky is only as big as the mouth of the well. How do you fly from the sky?”

The crow says, “The sky is very big. You always stay in the well, so you don’t know the world is big.”

The frog says, “I don’t believe.” But the crow says, “You can come out and have a look by yourself.”

So the frog comes out from the well. He is very surprised. How big the world is!

坐井觀天

有一只青蛙住在井底，他從來沒有去過井外面。他以為天空就和井口一樣大。 一天， 一只烏鴉飛到井邊，看見青蛙，就對它說：“青蛙，咱們聊聊吧�！鼻嗤芫蛦�

他：“你從哪里來？”“我從天上上來。青蛙驚訝了，就說：“天空就只有這井口這么大，你怎么會從天上飛老呢？”

烏鴉說：“天空很大。只不過你一直呆在井里，所有不知道世界很大�！鼻嗤苷f：“我不相信�！睘貘f說：“你可以出來，自己看看嘛�！�

于是青蛙來到井外。他十分驚訝，原來世界這么大！

The Clever King Solomon

Long, long ago, there was a king. Solomon was his name. He was very clever.

In his country, there were two women. They lived in the same house and each had a child.

One night, one of the babies died. The dead baby’s mother took the other woman’s baby, and put it in her own bed.

The next morning , they had a quarrel.

“No, this is my baby!” The dead is yours!”

Each one wanted the living baby. So they went to see King Solomon.

“Bring me a knife, cut the child into two and five each woman one half.” said the King. “Oh. Your Majesty! Give her my baby. Please don’t kill my baby!”

Then King Solomon pointed to the woman in teas and said, “Give the baby to her. She is the mother.”

聰明的國王所羅門

很久很久之前，有一位國王，他的名字叫所羅門，他非常聰明。

在他的國家里，有兩位婦女，她們住在同一間房子里。各有一個嬰兒。

一天夜里，其中一個嬰兒死了。他的媽媽抱另一位婦女的小孩，把他放在自己的床上。

第二天早上，他們發(fā)生了爭吵。

“不，這是我的孩子！這個死的是你的！”

他們都想要這個活著的孩子，于是她們?nèi)ヒ娝�羅門國王。

“給我拿把刀來，把這個孩子切成兩半，沒人一半�！眹�王判決道。

“哦，陛下，把我的孩子給她吧。請不要殺了我的孩子！”一位母親哭喊道。 于是所羅門指著流淚的婦女說：“把孩子給她，她是真正的母親�！�

Two Holes for the Dogs

My uncle has two dogs. One is big and the other is small. He likes them very much.

One day, Mr. Smith came to visit him. When the friend saw two holes in the door, a large hole and a small hole, he was surprised and said, “My dear friend, why are there two holes in your door?” “Let my dogs come in and come out, of course,” Mr. Smith asked. “But why are there two holes? One is enough!” “But how can the big dog go through the small hole?” my uncle said.

Sometimes a clever man may make such mistakes.

兩個狗洞

我的叔叔有兩條狗。一只是大的，另一只是小狗的。他很喜歡它們。

有一天，史密斯先生來看他。當(dāng)這個朋友看見門口上有連個洞，一個是大洞和一個小洞時，他感到吃驚并說，“我親愛的朋友，為什么你的門上有連個洞？”我的叔叔回答說：“當(dāng)然是讓我的兩條狗進(jìn)出了。 ” 史密斯先生問到：“ 為什么門上要兩個洞呢？一個就足夠了�！� 我叔叔說：“大狗怎能走小洞呢？”

有時聰明的人可能會犯這樣的錯誤。

動物英語幽默小故事篇二：英語動物小故事

今天的英語故事

（動物們正在森林里快樂地玩耍，一只可怕的鬼（Ghost）出現(xiàn)了，它餓了，想吃它們。）

Ghost: I’m a ghost. I’m hungry.Haha,so many foods!

我是一只鬼，我餓了。哈哈，有好多吃的！

（鬼來到大象前面。）

Ghost: Look at the elephant.It’s walking.看那大象，它在走。

Ghost: Elephant, elephant,I want to eat you!大象，大象，我要吃了你！ Elephant: Oh, no!Walking,walking,I’m walking.Bye-bye!

噢，不！我走，我走，我在走！再見！

（鬼沒吃著大象，它又來到了小鳥前面。）

Ghost: Look at the bird.It’s flying. 看那小鳥，它在飛。

Ghost: Bird, bird,I want to eat you! 小鳥，小鳥，我要吃了你！

Bird: Oh, no!Flying,flying,I’m flying. Bye-bye!

噢，不！我飛，我飛，我在飛！再見！

（鬼沒吃著小鳥，它又來到了兔子前面。）

Ghost: Look at the rabbit.It’s jumping. 看那兔子，它在跳。

Ghost: Rabbit, rabbit,I want to eat you! 兔子，兔子，我要吃了你！

Rab

bit: Oh, no!Jumping,jumping,I’m jumping. Bye-bye!

噢，不！我跳，我跳，我在跳！再見！

（鬼沒吃著兔子，它又來到了魚的前面。）

Ghost: Look at the fish.It’s swimming. 看那魚，它在游。

Ghost: Fish, fish,I want to eat you! 魚，魚，我要吃了你！

Fish: Oh, no!Swimming,swimming,I’m swimming. Bye-bye!

噢，不！我游，我游，我在游！再見！

（鬼沒吃著魚，它又來到了老虎的前面。）

Ghost: Look at the tiger.It’s running. 看那老虎，它在跑。

Ghost: Tiger, tiger,I want to eat you! 老虎，老虎，我要吃了你！

Tiger: Oh, no!Running,running,I’m running. Bye-bye!

噢，不！我跑，我跑，我在跑！再見！

Ghost: Oh no!I’m very hungry!

（所有動物全跑了，最后鬼只好餓著肚子回家去了。）

動物英語幽默小故事篇三：英語幽默小故事

英語幽默小故事10篇(帶翻譯)如下：

Midway Tactics

Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中間戰(zhàn)術(shù)

三個互相爭生意的商店老板在一條商業(yè)街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：“大減價!”“特便宜!”

左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：“大砍價!”“大折扣!”

中間的商人隨后準(zhǔn)備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：“入口處”。

Very Pleased to Meet You

During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I?m going abroad

tomorrow, but I?d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.

Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.

Joan went there and said to the matron, "I?ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."

"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.

"Oh, that?s all right," answered Joan. "I?m his sister."

"I?m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I?m his mother!"

在第二次世界大戰(zhàn)中，有許多年輕的婦女在軍營中服役。瓊.飛利浦斯是其中之一。她在一個大軍營中工作，當(dāng)然遇到了許多男士，包括軍官和士兵。

一天晚上她在舞會上遇到了軍官漢弗雷斯。他對她說，“我明天就要出國，但如果我們能夠相互寫信，我會很高興。”瓊同意了，于是他們幾個月里一直通著信。

后來，他再沒有來信。她收到了另一個軍官的信，告訴她，他受傷了，住在英格蘭的某個部隊醫(yī)院里。

瓊到了醫(yī)院，她對護(hù)士長說，“我來看望軍官漢弗雷斯�！�

“這里只有親屬可以探望病人�！弊o(hù)士長說。

“噢，是的，”瓊說，“我是他的妹妹�！�

“很高興認(rèn)識你，”護(hù)士長說，“我是他的母親。”

Two Soldiers

Two soldiers were in camp. The first one?s name was George, and the second one?s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"

Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.

Then George said, "Now I haven?t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.

George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.

"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.

George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What?s your girl-friend?s address?"

軍營里有二名士兵，一個叫喬治，一個叫比爾。喬治問：“比爾，你有信紙、信封嗎?”比爾說：“有�！比缓蟀研偶埡托欧饨o了喬治。

喬治又說：“我還沒有筆呢�！北葼栍职炎约旱墓P給了他。喬治開始寫信。寫完后把信放進(jìn)信封里，又問：“比爾，你有郵票嗎?”比爾給了他一張。

這時比爾站起來，向門口走去。喬治問：“你要出去嗎?”

比爾說：“是的�！彪S即打開了門。

喬治說：“請幫我把這封信投進(jìn)辦公室的信箱里，還有...”他停住了。

“你還要什么?”比爾問。

喬治看著信封說：“你女朋友的地址是-?”

Five Months Older

The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.

But John?s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy?s family name, so when he saw John?s papers, he was surprised.

"How old are you?" he said.

"Eighteen, sir," said John.

"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"

"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."大五個月

第二次世界大戰(zhàn)開始了，約翰想?yún)④�，可他只有十六歲，當(dāng)時規(guī)定男孩到十八歲才能入伍。所以軍醫(yī)給他進(jìn)行體檢時，他說他已經(jīng)十八歲了。

可約翰的哥哥剛?cè)胛闆]幾天，而且也是這個軍醫(yī)給他做的檢查。這位醫(yī)生還記得他哥哥的姓。所以當(dāng)他看到約翰的表格時，感到非常驚奇。

“你多大了?”軍醫(yī)問。

“十八，長官�！奔s翰說。

“可你的哥哥也是十八歲，你們是雙胞胎嗎?”

約翰臉紅了，說：“哦，不是，長官，我哥哥比我大五個月�！�

West Point

My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."

One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."

父親、哥哥和我到西點軍校去觀看一場陸軍與波士頓大學(xué)之間的橄欖球賽。開始之前，我們到處轉(zhuǎn)了轉(zhuǎn)，碰到許多穿著整齊制服的學(xué)員。幾名游客問新兵是否愿意擺出軍姿來讓他們攝�！昂米屛覀兊膬鹤又�道，如果他到西點軍校來學(xué)習(xí)會得到什么�！�

一對中年夫婦走近一名非常漂亮的女學(xué)員，問她是否愿意擺個姿勢照相。他們解釋說：“我們想讓兒子知道他沒來西點軍校錯過了什么�！�

(6)Present for Girlfriend

At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.

The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ?To my one and only love?. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again."

送給女友的禮物

在一家珠寶店里，一位年輕人買了一個貴重的小金盒作為送給女友的禮物�！耙�我把她的名字刻在上面嗎?”珠寶商問道。

那名顧客想了一會兒，然后說道：“不--在上面刻?給我唯一的愛?。這樣，如果我們鬧崩了，我還可以再用到它。”

Be Careful What You Wish For

A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.

During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.

The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband?s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I?d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."

The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.

慎重許愿

一對結(jié)婚25周年的夫妻在慶祝他們六十歲的生日。他們恰好在同一天出生。

慶�；顒又校�一位仙女出現(xiàn)了。她說，由于他們是已經(jīng)結(jié)婚25年的恩愛夫妻，因此她給許給這對夫妻每個人一個愿望。

妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手�！皡�!”的一聲，她的手中出現(xiàn)了一張票。

接下來該丈夫許愿了。他猶豫片刻，害羞地說，“那我想要一位比我年輕30歲的女人。”仙女拾起了魔術(shù)棒�！皡�!”，他變成了90歲。

Wood Fire

One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Husbands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened."

"Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves?"

森林之火 一名婦女向她最好的朋友大談雄性動物的特性：“丈夫們就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他們就會燃燒起來�！� “那是不是意味著，”另一個問道，“他們將自己燒成灰燼?”Best Reward

A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.

"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I?d pulled you out, they?d chuck me in."

最好的獎賞 一名海軍軍官從甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。這位軍官問如何才能酬謝他。 “最好的辦法，長官，”這名水手說，“是別聲張這事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他們會把我扔下去的�！�

Napoleon Was Ill

Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the

university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.

"He?s a good boy," said Jack?s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I?m sure he?ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."

"No, no, that?s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn?t know!"

"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack?s father. "You see, I?m afraid we don?t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."

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