幽默的用英語怎么說篇一：英文神翻譯 幽默中的大智慧(雙語)

一些大道理并不一定只有嚴(yán)肅說教的方式才能讓人領(lǐng)悟，很多時候一些隨意的話語，幽默的句子就能展現(xiàn)人生道理�？纯聪旅孢@些最具創(chuàng)意的英文神翻譯，會心一笑的同時你卻會贊嘆于其中蘊含的大智慧。

1. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

正常版：在這個世界上，我最不愿意做的事就是傷害你，但是這件事仍在我的考慮之列。

幽默版：我真不想傷害你，但你也別逼我。

文藝版：吾雖不殺伯仁，伯仁因我而死。

2.Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

政客和紙尿布有一個共同點就是：他們都很有規(guī)律地被替換，而且因為同一個理由——臟了!!

3.War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

戰(zhàn)爭不能決出正義，但能判出哪方出局。

4.Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 直譯版：知識就是說你知道西紅柿是一種水果；智慧就好似不要把它放進水果沙拉里。 意譯版：知識就是告訴你說應(yīng)該把雞蛋放進籃子，智慧則是叫你不要把所有雞蛋都放進一個籃子。

5.If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

上帝瞅著咱們呢，大伙好歹喜感點吧!

6.I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

老子拼死拼活奮斗到食物鏈頂端，不是為了成為一個素食者。

7.A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

公車站呀公車停�；疖囌狙交疖囃�。俺桌上有個工作站…

8.Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. 直譯版：寧可保持沉默，即使這樣會讓人覺得自己是個傻瓜，也不要出聲說話，讓別人因此對你不再有疑慮。

搞笑版：寧愿閉嘴當(dāng)傻瓜，也別瞎BB。

發(fā)散版：剽悍的人生不需要解釋。

9.A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

無愧于心哈？記性不好吧？

10.Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

如果女人能做到以禿頂和啤酒肚在大街上晃還覺得自己倍兒性感——此時估計男女能平等。

更多英語學(xué)習(xí)方法：企業(yè)英語培訓(xùn)

幽默的用英語怎么說篇二：爆笑英語翻譯

「中國英文」（Chinese English）Chinglish “地道中文”的搞笑英語翻譯

1.we two who and who？咱倆誰跟誰阿 2.You give me stop! 你給我站住

3Good good study,day day up!好好學(xué)習(xí)天天向上4.Icall Liold bigtoyear25我叫李老大今年25

6.you have two down son你有兩下子 7.You ask me,I ask who？你問我，我去問誰？

8.People mountain and people sea.人山人海9.seven up eight down 七上八下

10.no three no four不三不四 11. Moon under old man 月下老人

12.Open the door see mountain開門見山 13. pen see you 鄙視你

14.Five flowers eight doors五花八門

15.I’ll give you some color to see see(我要給你點顏色看看)

1.王 八 蛋：wang eight eggs 2.白癡：White eat!

3.吃白 食：eat white food4.紅顏知己：red face know me

5.老 表：old watch 6.表妹：watch sister

7.別唬我：don’t tiger me8.狗 娘 養(yǎng) 的：dog mother born

9.作早操：do early fuck 10.不三不四：no three no four

11.馬馬虎虎：horse horse tiger tiger 12. 你給我站住：you give me stop

13.你他媽的：you he mother’s 14.你問我我去問誰：you ask me,me ask who

15.豬頭三去死吧：pig head 3,go dead!16.朝三暮四：morning three night four

17.怎么是你：how are you?18. how old are you? 怎么老是你

19.要錢不給，要命有一條：want money no, want life one

20.三人行，必有我?guī)煟簍hree people go, one is my teacher

1.各位知不知道“讓廣州充滿愛”的官方翻譯？—Let’s make love everywhere in our Guangzhou��！

2.你也許已走出我的視線,但從未走出我的思念You may be out of my sight,but never out of my mind 3懷才像懷孕時間長才能看到Having knowledge likes having pregnantit takes times to beawareness

4.媽媽說人最好不要錯過兩樣?xùn)|西，最后一班回家的車和一個深愛你的人. Mom said you’d better not miss two things , the last bus to home and the person who loves you deeply.

5.蘿卜青菜，各有所愛。[誤] Some prefer radish but others prefer cabbage.[正] Tastes differ。No dish suits all tastes 或You can never make everyone happy

6.他一向嘴硬，從不認(rèn)錯。[誤] He has always got a hard mouth and never admit a fault.[正] He never says uncle.注：當(dāng)一方想制服另一方時就用命令說：“Say uncle!” “服輸”，而not say uncle 就是“嘴硬”

7.同學(xué)們都很討厭他，因為他經(jīng)常拍老師的馬屁。[誤] The students all dislike him because he often pats the teacher's ass.[正] The students all dislike him because he often licks the teacher's boots.注：以前在歐洲，臣民見到國王與王后往往要親吻他們的靴子。后來，人們將lick the boots 引申漢語的“拍馬屁”。在美國英語中，“拍馬屁”還有另一種說法polish the apple，學(xué)生用擦亮的蘋果來討好老師。

8.你聽說了嗎？邁克把他的女朋友給甩了。[誤] Have you ever heard that Mike broke up with his

girlfriend?[正] Have you ever heard that Mike dumped his girlfriend?注：break up with sb. 雖然表示“與某人分手了”，并沒說明是誰先提出來的。而dump 指“傾倒垃圾”，這里則表示像倒垃圾一樣地甩掉。

9.人都是這山望著那山高，對自己的現(xiàn)狀沒有滿意的時候。[誤] Almost all people think that the other mountain is higher than the one he's standing on. They never feel satisfied with what they've

already got.[正] Almost all people think that the grass is greener on the other hill. They never feel satisfied with what they've already got.注：“這山望著那山高”是指人不滿足于現(xiàn)狀的心理，它在英語中已經(jīng)有了現(xiàn)成的說法，即the grass is greener on the other hill(他山的草更綠)，因此我們借用即可，

10. “big river goes to the east，all the star follows beidou”，這句英文大意就是：大河向東流，天上的星星參北斗。這首“洋氣十足”的《好漢歌》的英文版挾著天雷滾滾而來.

11. 人山人海：有人直譯為：People mountain people sea. 這就是「中國英文」，老外很難理解。他們指「人多」時，通常只說：「There is a large crowd of people.」

12. 天下無不散的宴席：有人直譯為：There are no feasts in the world which do not break up at last. All good things come to an end. (意思是：所有好的事情，總有結(jié)束的一天。)

China：拆哪兒？查哪兒？圈哪兒？切哪兒？親哪兒？去哪兒？吃哪兒？錢兒呢？

English:應(yīng)給利息，陰溝里洗，硬改歷史，

媽媽，我不想學(xué)英語了，因為老師不靠譜，還老教我們罵人：他說今天是Today，昨天也是yestoday; 他一會兒說Yes,一會兒說Nice, 一會兒說Bus,一會兒說Goose, 最后還說都guess�。� 中式英語按照拼音的順序排了出來，如下表。

1.What the fuck is going on?（到底他媽的怎么回事?） 2.You son of bitch! （你個狗娘養(yǎng)的�。�

3."同學(xué)是某偏遠(yuǎn)地區(qū)的，英語發(fā)音一直不標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，老師英文也是發(fā)不準(zhǔn)，所以學(xué)生更是一口地道的土腔英語。話說同學(xué)的妹妹剛上初一，學(xué)英語的積極性狂高，每天早晨天不亮就開始朗讀單詞，這天像往常一樣，繼續(xù)拼命的讀，他爹就蹲在窗戶底下抽煙袋。小妹妹念“hands(音:漢子),hands”，“two hands(偷漢子)。他爹聽完就止不住的皺眉，一大早就聽見閨女要偷漢子，心想怪不得聽說外國人開放，書上都這么寫。小妹妹繼續(xù)讀“hands，hands，two hands(偷漢子)” I have two hands.。 漢子,偷漢子,俺還偷漢子

4.話說一個國內(nèi)知名企業(yè)，一天來了一個重要的外賓，下面是前臺的對話。

前臺小姐：“hello.”你好。美國人：“hi.”你好。

前臺小姐：“you have what thing？”你有什么事情？

美國人：“can you speak English？”你能和我說英語嗎？

前臺小姐：“if i not speak English，i am speaking what？”如果我不是在說英語，那我在說什么呢？美國人：“can anybody else speak English？”這里有別的人能說英語嗎？

前臺小姐：“you yourself look，all people are playing ，no people have time，you can wait，you wait， you not wait，you go！”.你自己看看，所有的人都在忙著，沒有人有時間，你能等你就等，你不能等你說走！

美國人：“good heavens. anybody here can speak English？”我的天啦，這里沒有人能講英語嗎？ 前臺小姐：“shout what shout，quiet a little，you have what thing?”嚷什么嚷，安靜一點，你還有什么事情？美國人：“i want to speak to your head.”我要找你們的頭兒。

前臺小姐：“head not zai . you tomorrow come！”頭不在，你明天來！

5..小明上英文課時跟老師說：May I go to the toilet?老師說：Goa head.

小明就坐了下來。過了一會兒，小明又跟老師說：May I go to the toilet?老師說：Goa head. 小明又坐了下來。他旁邊的同學(xué)于是忍不住問：你不是跟老師說要上廁所嗎？怎么不去？

小明說：你沒聽老師說「去你個頭」�。�

6.某女領(lǐng)導(dǎo)會見外賓，要求翻譯要嚴(yán)格按她的意思翻，不許走樣。外賓一見到女士，立刻按照西方的習(xí)慣拍馬屁道："Miss，you are very beautiful."翻譯照翻，領(lǐng)導(dǎo)心花怒放，嘴上還要謙虛一下：“哪里，哪里”。翻譯不敢怠慢，把她的話翻成英文："Where? Where?"外賓一愣，干脆馬屁拍到底："Every where, every where。"翻譯：“你到處都很漂亮�！鳖I(lǐng)導(dǎo)更高興了，但總是要客氣一下：“不見得，不見得”。 翻譯趕緊翻成英文："You are not all owed to see , you are not all owed to see."

7.某男，亦粗通英文，至使館，有表要填，有一欄是：Sex，該男久思，毅然下筆：“Once a week”。

簽證官觀后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.”

該男頓時赧顏，思之，填下“female”。官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?”

男急釋曰：“I am a normal man , so I have sex with female.”

8.小強去看電影，到了電影售票處，發(fā)現(xiàn)一個老外和售票小姐連說帶比得好半天，就自告奮勇的上前做翻譯，售票小姐說：麻煩你告訴她，現(xiàn)在坐票售完了只剩下站票，如果要看要站著看。

小強轉(zhuǎn)頭就對老外說：no sit see, stand see. if see stand see.

老外回答說：sorry I don’t understand your English.

小強就對售票小姐說：哦，他說他不懂英文.......

9.下面是一位朋友在各個銀行之間為了一點存款的事，折騰了好半天，結(jié)果是一事無成。

去了中國建設(shè)銀行，CBC(Construction Bank of China)，營業(yè)員問，“存不存？”

后面是中國銀行的同志，BC（Bank of China），回答道“不存�！�

中國農(nóng)業(yè)銀行的同志說，ABC(Agriculture Bank of China)，“啊，不存”。

中國工商銀行的同志來火了，ICBC(Industry and Commercial Bank of China)，“愛存不存”。 民生銀行聽了，CMSB（China Min sheng Bank），接上話，“存嗎？傻比！”

招商銀行，CMBC，也應(yīng)答道，“存嗎？？白癡！”

這位顧客火了，我的事關(guān)你啥事？我去興業(yè)銀行，CIB，“存一百”。

國家開發(fā)銀行的同志聽了，CDB（China Development Bank)，在我們這里也，“存點吧！”

北京市商業(yè)銀行的同志說了，BCCB(Beijing City Commercial Bank)，“白存存不？”

想了半天，還是匯豐銀行，（HSBC），答話了，“還是不存！”結(jié)果務(wù)功而返。

一、 永遠(yuǎn)都不要停止微笑，即使是在你難過的時候，說不定有人會因為你的笑容而愛上你。 Never stop smiling, not even when you're sad, someone might fall in love with your smile.

二、一個真正的朋友會握著你的手，觸動你的心。 A true friend is the one who holds your hand and touches your heart.

三、 你可能只是這個世界上的一個人，但對于某人來說，你就是全世界。 You may only be a person in this world, but for someone, you're the world.

幽默的用英語怎么說篇三：英語幽默笑話帶翻譯

英語幽默笑話帶翻譯

1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 醫(yī)生懂得多

一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫(yī)院.他的妻子站在他的床前對醫(yī)生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."醫(yī)生說:"我怕他已經(jīng)死了."聽到醫(yī)生的話,這個男人轉(zhuǎn)動著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."妻子說:"安靜,醫(yī)生比你懂得多."

2:You can't go without me

The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.

"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.

"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.

沒有我你們走不了

公共汽車上很擁擠.一位男士想上車,但是沒有人給他讓路.

"喂,讓我上車!"那位男士喊道.

"車太擠了,你最好坐下一輛"車上的一位乘客對他說.

"但是沒有我你們走不了.我是司機!"那位男士說道.

3:Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發(fā)問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了�！� “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”

4:Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生�！蹦切∧泻⒄f。 5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black.When I grow up, I am blackWhen I'm under the sun, I'm blackWhen I'm cold, I'm blackWhen I'm afraid, I'm black.

When I'm sick, I'm black.When I die, I'm still black.you---white

people,When you were born, you were pink.When you grow up, you become white.You're red under the sun.You're blue when you're cold.You are yellow when you're afraid.You're green when you're sick.You're gray when you die.And you, call me "color"?

親愛的白種人，有幾件事你必須知道。 當(dāng)我出生時，我是黑色的我長大了，我是黑色的我在陽光下，我是黑色的我寒冷時，我是黑色的我害怕時，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的當(dāng)我死了，我仍是黑色的。你---白種人，當(dāng)你出生時，你是粉紅色的。你長大了，變成白色的。你在陽光下，你是紅色的。你寒冷時，你是青色的。你害怕時，你是黃色的。你生病時，你是綠色的。當(dāng)你死時，你是灰色的。而你，卻叫我「有色人種」？

6：Where is the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！”

“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。

那爸爸去哪兒了呢？”

哥哥想了會兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時正在畫這些畫唄�！�

7：How Many Rabbits?

Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan:Nine, sir.

Teacher: Nine?

Jonathan:I've got one already, sir.

多少只兔子？

老師：好，喬納森，假如我給你三只兔子，第二天我又給你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？

喬納森：一共有九只，先生。

老師：九只？

喬納森：先生，我本來就有一只。

8：These Are My Jeans

After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about

herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．

“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”

Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans．”

那是我的褲子!

一個婦女在減肥一段時間后自我感覺特別好——特別是當(dāng)她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔褲時。她跑下樓沖她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的褲子了。”她丈夫看了她好一會兒，然后說：“親愛的，我愛你。但那是我的褲子�！�

9：The mean man's party

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?" 吝嗇鬼請客

一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎么找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然后用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之后，再用你的腳把門推開�！�

“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢？”

“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧？”吝嗇鬼回答。

10：All I do is pay

"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife

is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."

"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?"

"I'm the people. All I do is pay."

我要做的一切就是付錢

布朗先生告訴同事說：“我的家簡直就象一個國家一樣。我妻子

是財政部長。我岳母是作戰(zhàn)部長，我女兒是外交秘書�！�

“聽上去挺有意思的，”他的同事說，“那你的職務(wù)是什么呢？”

“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付錢�！�

1. What room has no walls, no doors, no windows, and no floors?

A mushroom.(蘑菇)

2. What is smaller than an insect's mouth?

Anything it eats.

3. What large instrument do you carry in your ears?

Drums, that is eardrums.(鼓膜)

4. What's too much for one, just right for two, but nothing at all for three?

A secret.

5. What person tried to make you smile most of the time?

A photographer.

6. What animal has a head like a cat, eyes like a cat, a tail like a cat, but isn't a cat?

A kitten.(小貓)

7. What surprising things happen every 24 hours?

Day breaks, but doesn't fall; night falls, but doesn't break.

8. What can hear you without ears and can answer you without a mouth?An echo.(回聲)

9. What do you know about the kings of France?

They are all dead.

10. What question can you never answer 'yes" to"

Are you asleep?

11. Why do some old people never use glasses?

They must prefer bottles to glasses.

12. Why is the person wearing two coats while painting the house?

Bec(來自:www.newchangjing.com 蒲公英文 摘:幽默的用英語怎么說)ause the instructions on the paint can say "Put on two coats for best results."

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