英語短句幽默篇一：英語幽默句子

幽默的英語句子

1) Money is not everything. There?s Mastercard & Visa.

鈔票不是萬能的，有時還需要信用卡。

2) One should love animals. They are so tasty.

每個人都應(yīng)該熱愛動物，因?yàn)樗鼈兒芎贸浴?3)Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要節(jié)約用水，盡量和女友一起洗澡。

4)Love the neighbor. But don?t get caught.

要用心去愛你的鄰居，不過不要讓她的老公知道。

5)Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每個成功男人的背后，都有一個女人。每個不成功男人的背后，都有兩個女人。 6)Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

再快樂的單身漢遲早也會結(jié)婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。

7)The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.

聰明人都是未婚的，結(jié)婚的人很難再聰明起來。

8)Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.

成功是一個相關(guān)名詞，他會給你帶來很多不相關(guān)的親戚（聯(lián)系）。

9)Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。

10)Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.

愛情就象照片，需要大量的暗房時間來培養(yǎng)。（老外也保守，要摸黑辦事，哈哈）

11)Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩會生出意外，后排座位上的意外會生出小孩。

12)"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. "

現(xiàn)在的夢想決定著你的將來"，所以還是再睡一會吧。

13)There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.

應(yīng)該有更好的方式開始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每個上午都醒來。

14)"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? "

"努力工作不會導(dǎo)致死亡！"不過我不會用自己去證明。

15)"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! "

"工作好有意思耶！"尤其是看著別人工作。

16)God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.

神決定了誰是你的親戚，幸運(yùn)的是在選擇朋友方面他給了你留了余地。

17)When two?s company, three?s the result! 兩個人的狀態(tài)是不穩(wěn)定的，三個人才是！

18)A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服飾就象鐵絲網(wǎng)，它阻止你冒然行動但并不妨礙你盡情的觀看。

19)The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.

學(xué)的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘記的越多，忘記的越多，知道的越少，為什么學(xué)來著？

1.國外有個節(jié)目采訪lord of ring（指環(huán)王）里面那個小哈比人時，他講了個冷笑話：Q: a deer, has no eyes, what's its name？（一只鹿，沒有眼睛，應(yīng)該叫什么？）

A: I don?t know ,what is it？（我不知道，該叫什么？）

Q: no eye deer……(no idea)（沒眼睛鹿……沒主意（英語口語的諧音））

agian, a deer has no eyes, no legs, what's its name？（那么，一只鹿，沒眼睛，也沒有腿，該叫什么？）

A: I don?t know, what's it then？（我還是不知道，應(yīng)該叫什么？）

Q: still no idea……”（還是沒眼睛鹿（用了諧音））

2.某次英文考試有兩道題目：

1）我穿上外套，卻發(fā)現(xiàn)第一個扣子掉了。

2）他聽見電話鈴響，就過去接了電話。

正確答案應(yīng)為：

1）I put on my coat and found its first button was gone.

2）As soon as he heard the phone ringing, he went to pick it up.

但是某生的答案是：

1）Shit!

2）Hello?

3老師在黑板上寫了一句：Time is money，并讓同學(xué)們翻譯。

有名學(xué)生答道：“湯姆是瑪麗�！�

4小明上英文課時跟老師說：May I go to the toilet?

老師說：Go ahead.

小明就坐了下來。過了一會兒，小明又跟老師說：May I go to the toilet?

老師說：Go ahead.

小明又坐了下來。他旁邊的同學(xué)于是忍不住問：你不是跟老師說要上廁所嗎？怎么不去？小明說：你沒聽老師說「去你個頭」�。�

5某日劉洪濤遇到外賓，上前搭話曰：I am hongtao liu．

外賓曰：我他媽還是方片七呢！

6江青會見外賓，要求翻譯要嚴(yán)格按她的意思翻，不許走樣。

外賓一見到江青，立刻拍馬屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful."

翻譯照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上還要謙虛一下：“哪里，哪里”。

翻譯不敢怠慢，把江青的話翻成英文："Where? Where?"

外賓一愣，還有這樣的人，追問哪里漂亮的，干脆馬屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere."翻譯：“你到處都很漂亮�！�

江青更高興了，但總是要客氣一下：“不見得，不見得”。

翻譯趕緊翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see."

7一對熱戀中的男女。女生非常沒有安全感，于是對著男友說：“SAY ?I LOVE YOU!!?SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!”

男的答道：“IT!”

8某人刻苦學(xué)習(xí)英語，終有小成。一日上街不慎與一老外相撞，

忙說：I am sorry.

老外應(yīng)道：I am sorry too.

某人聽后又道：I am sorry three.

老外不解，問：What are you sorry for?

某人無奈，道：I am sorry five.

9某男，亦粗通英文，至使館，有表要填，有一欄是：Sex，該男思之久已，毅然下筆：“Once a week”。

簽證官觀后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.”

該男頓時赧顏，思之，填下“female”，官楞之，曰：“shouldn?t it be male?”

男急釋曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.

和“Kiss”有關(guān)的詞匯

kiss-ass n.馬屁精,諂媚者, 奉承

kiss good-bye 吻別, 放棄,失去

kiss of death n.死神之吻，乍看有益但會導(dǎo)致毀滅的行為

kiss of life n.生命之吻

kiss of live n.口對口人工呼吸

kiss of peace [宗] 接吻禮,團(tuán)結(jié)友愛的接吻

kiss the rod v.甘心受罰

kiss the post v.吃閉門羹；為時過晚

blow a kiss 飛吻

vacuum kiss 真空吻（*ing the air out of one?s partner?s mouth and lungs）

French kiss 法式接吻（kiss with your mouth open and your tongues touching）Platonic kiss 柏拉圖之吻（short kiss on the check for greeting）

Smooch v/n 熱吻

Peckn 匆匆輕吻

經(jīng)典英語繞口令

1. Canners can can what they can can but can not can things can't be canned.

2. Bill's big brother is building a beautiful building between two big brick blocks.

3.Please, Paul, pause for applause.

4.“Shall I show you the shop for shoes and shirts?” Shirley said to shelly.

5.Do you agree, if you are free to come to tea with me by the sea?

6.Paul called from the hall that he had slipped on the floor and couldn't get to the door.

7.I'd buy my ties before the price begins to rise.

8.A snow-white swan swam swiftly to catch a slowly swimming snake in a lake.

9.It is a fine thing to sing in Spring, I think.

10.Famine and failure faced the frightened farmer.

11.I am amazed it is a craze these days to dance to music of Jazz.

12.In winter the weather in Wales is wild

13.I know. You know. I know that you know. I know that you know that I know.

14.Mike likes to write by the nice bright light at night.

15.Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

英語諺語500句 （A:51--100）

51)A man becomes learned by asking questions.

不恥下問才能有學(xué)問。

52)A man can do no more than he can.

凡事都應(yīng)量力而行。

53)A man cannot spin and reel at the same time.

一心不能二用。

54)A man is known by his friends.

什么人交什么朋友。

55)A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds. 光說空話不做事，猶如花園光長刺。

56)A man without money is no man at all.

一分錢難倒英雄漢。

57)A merry heart goes all the way.

心曠神怡，事事順利。

58) A miss is as good as a mile.

失之毫厘，差之千里。

59)A mother's love never changes.

母愛永恒。

60)An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

一天一蘋果，不用請醫(yī)生。

61) A new broom sweeps clean.

新官上任三把火。

62) An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.

以眼還眼，以牙還牙。

63) An hour in the morning is worth two in the evening.一日之計在于晨。

64) An old dog cannot learn new tricks.

老狗學(xué)不出新把戲。

65) An ounce of luck is better than a pound of wisdom. 聰明才智，不如運(yùn)氣。

66) An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

預(yù)防為主，治療為輔。

67) A rolling stone gathers no moss.

滾石不生苔，轉(zhuǎn)業(yè)不聚財。

68) As a man sows, so he shall reap.

種瓜得瓜，種豆得豆。

69) A single flower does not make a spring.

一花獨(dú)放不是春，百花齊放春滿園。

70)A snow year, a rich year.

瑞雪兆豐年。

71) A sound mind in a sound body.

健全的精神寓于健康的身體。

72) A still tongue makes a wise head.

寡言者智。

73) A stitch in time saves nine.

小洞不補(bǔ)，大洞吃苦。

74) A straight foot is not afraid of a crooked shoe.

身正不怕影子斜。

75) A wise head makes a close mouth.

真人不露相，露相非真人。

76) A word spoken is past recalling.

一言既出，駟馬難追。

77) A year's plan starts with spring.

一年之計在于春。

78) A young idler, an old beggar.

少壯不努力，老大徒傷悲。

79) Bad news has wings.

好事不出門，壞事傳千里。

80) Barking dogs seldom bite.

吠犬不咬人.

81) Beauty lies in the love's eyes.

情人眼里出西施。

82) Be swift to hear, slow to speak.

聽宜敏捷，言宜緩行。

83) Better late than never.

不怕慢，單怕站。

84) Better to ask the way than go astray.

問路總比迷路好。

85) Between friends all is common.

朋友之間不分彼此。

86) Birds of a feather flock together.

物以類聚，人以群分。

87) Blood is thicker than water.

血濃于水。

88) Blood will have blood.

血債血償。

89) Books and friends should be few but good.

讀書如交友，應(yīng)求少而精。

90) Business is business.

公事公辦。

91) Business is the salt of life.

事業(yè)是人生的第一需要。

92) By reading we eich the mind, by conversation we polish it.讀書使人充實(shí)，交談使人精明。

93) Cannot see the wood for the trees.

英語短句幽默篇二：英語口語 超級搞笑的中英對譯句子

英語口語 超級搞笑的中英對譯句子 英語口語 超級搞笑的中英對譯句子

1.Money is not the problem, the problem is money!

錢不是問題，問題是沒錢!

2. Burn incense and may not necessarily be a monk, but also may be the panda ... 燒香的不一定是和尚，還可能是熊貓...

3. Drunk who has not satisfied me, I will help the wall!

喝醉了我誰也不服,我就扶墻!

4. I lie like a fly in the glass, the future is bright, but can not find a way out. 我就像一只趴在玻璃上的蒼蠅，前途一片光明，但又找不到出路.

5. Who says I am white, thin, beautiful ~ I like his good friend ~

誰說我白，瘦，漂亮~我就跟他做好朋友~

6. "What is the optimists who?" "The teapot is like ............... like red buttocks were burned and he still has feelings whistle!"

"什么叫樂觀派的人?""這個...............就像茶壺一樣，屁股都燒得紅紅的，他還有心情吹口哨!"

7. Contraceptive effect: not successful, then the adult?

避孕的效果：不成功，便成人?

8.the past, took off his underwear to see buttocks; Now, unplug buttocks to see underwear ...

關(guān)于丁字褲：以前，脫下內(nèi)褲看屁股;現(xiàn)在，拔開屁股看內(nèi)褲……

英語短句幽默篇三：10大搞笑英語句子變身幽默達(dá)人

10大搞笑英語句子變身幽默達(dá)人

很多人擔(dān)心自己的英語說的生硬、沒有生氣，其實(shí)英語中有許多雷人的“冷笑話”，只要多多積累一些“雷人”英語，還怕你的英語無趣嗎?掌握下面這十大搞笑英語句子，你就可以瞬間變?yōu)樯碛哪�達(dá)人!

01. 人生的最大遺憾莫過于錯誤地堅(jiān)持了不該堅(jiān)持的，輕易地放棄了不該放棄的……

The most regret ion of live is insist on something that shouldn’t be insisted on, give up something that shouldn’t be given up

02. 大師兄，你知道嗎?二師兄的肉現(xiàn)在比師傅的都貴了。

Tang Monk/Tang Priest, don’t you know piggy is more valuable than you? (The Pilgrimage to the West)

03. 懷才就像懷孕，時間長了才能看出來。

Having knowledge likes having pregnant, it takes times to be awareness.

04. 還能沖動，表示你還對生活有激情，總是沖動，表示你還不懂生活。If you acts on impulse, you have passions in life, if you always acts on impulse, you don’t know what life is.

05. 我問一個在深圳工作了二十年的朋友：“如果你死后，你的墓志銘打算寫點(diǎn)啥?”他說：“我解決了住房問題!”

I asked a question to a friend who has been working in Shenzhen for 20 years, what would be the proudest things in your life if you died?

He said: I have already pay back the mortgage loan of my

department.

06. 媽媽說人最好不要錯過兩樣?xùn)|西，最后一班回家的車和一個深愛你的人。Mom said you’d better not miss two things , the last bus to home and the person who loves you deeply.

07. 一天看到一位大媽在燒紙，邊燒邊嘟囔著：收到了全都買基金吧~~One day I saw a old woman was burning paper money and

mumbled : buy funds if you get it.

08. 好的愛情是你透過一個男人看到世界，壞的愛情是你為了一個人舍棄世界……

A good love is you find the world for a man; a bad love is you abandon the world for a man.

09. 諸葛亮出山前，也沒帶過兵!憑啥我就要工作經(jīng)驗(yàn)?

Before Liang Zhuge coming out, he didnt have experience in leading the army! why i should have experience when look for a job?

10. 如果你看到面前的陰影，別怕，那是因?yàn)槟愕谋澈笥嘘柟狻��?/p>

If you saw the dark in front of you, dont be afriad, that's because sunshine is at yo(來自:www.newchangjing.com 蒲公英文 摘:英語短句幽默)ur back.

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