英語幽默短劇篇一：英語短劇(三人)搞笑

改編自《兩小兒辯日》

(J:Jack P:Petter S:stranger)

獨白：The story happened in a sunny day.Two friends meet each other. J:Hi,nice to see you,Petter.

P:Nice to see you,Jack.It`s a good day ,isn`t it?

J:Yeah,I like sunny days.

P:Look,what`s this?

J:Oh,it`s our luck day.It`s 100 dollar.

P:Yes, it is.So what should we do to the money?Give it to uncle police? J:I don`t think so.I suggest one of us can have it.Since it is in my hand,so…

P:No ,I don`t think so.I think I find it first,I am the person that who should have the money.

J:Look at that person.Why don`t we ask him to judge it for us. P:I agree.

J:Hello,could you please do us a favour?

S:Ofcourse.What`t up?

J:Here is the thing,……

S:Isee.It`s really a hard question.Let me think.en…OK,I get an idea.Now I`ll give you one question and the one who can give the correct answer that can have the money.What do you think?

P:Why not.

J:Let do it.

S:Now you must listen to me carefully.Look at the sun,it`s beautiful isn`t it?And it`s very far from us.So my question is when is the sun farther away from us,in the morning or at noon?You first.

P:It`s easy.As we can see,in the morning the sun is very big and at noon it become smaller.So,the answer is at noon

J:That is the most stupid answer I have ever heard.As we can feel ,in the morning it`s cool and at noon it`ll be very hot.That is because the sun is farther away from us at morning.

爭吵

S：OK.Stop.Stop.As a matter of fact,each of your answer is incorrect.I think the range is the same.

P:Are you crazy?Let me tell you something?(到一邊，拿出50美元)If you make me win,it`s yours.

S:(think for a while).It`s a deal.(回到原地) I am sorry,I made a mistake just now.I`ll correct my answer.Petter is right.The answer is at noon.

J:What?We need to talk.(拉路人到一邊)I did not catch your mean clearly.Could you say it again?

S:The sun isfarther away from usat noon.So you are wrong.

J:(打過路人)Did you change your mind?

S:No…Oh yes.You are right.Obviously,he was wrong.

(一起回去)

P：What`s wrong with your face?

J:清嗓子

S:I just fall over by accident,nevermind.And let`s go back to the question ,I think it over and over again.Finally I believe Jack is right.You were wrong.

J:(Jack從petter手中搶過錢)Then it`s mine.(kiss it) It`s nice to meet you ,petter.Goodbye.

P:What?Don`t go.(jack下) What`s wrong with you?

S:I `m sorry,Ijust…..

J:Give me my money,now.

(路人拿出錢，jack一把搶過來，生氣地走了)

S：（jack走后，路人掏掏口袋發(fā)現(xiàn)）Where is my own 100 dollar.Give me my money.(追jack)

完

英語幽默短劇篇二：英語搞笑短劇劇本

三打白骨精

Three Times’ Beating Monster

人物：T唐僧S：孫悟空 E：豬八戒

J：沙僧

B：白骨精（何平） B1：B變成的村姑 B2：B變成的太婆B3：B變化成的老頭 T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?

S: Bajie,map!

E: (摸出，遞給S)

S: Look,boss (湊近T)………（T、S一齊轉(zhuǎn)向E）

T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!

E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)

T: (縮手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west

E: But……

T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?

E: (遞)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.

S: Fat Pig!

E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will………. S: You will what(兇相)?

E: (軟禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).

S: Hm!

T:（輕咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?

E: You see , boss is hungry,too!

T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!

J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away….. T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?

S: No problem!(安裝)（B已躲在一旁偷看）

J: This is…..?

S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!

T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!

S: Bye!(走)

T: Let’s play cards!(三人開始打牌)音樂《斗地主》

B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(變成B1)

B1: (接近三人，望著)Can I join you?

J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.

B1: (在一旁觀看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!

T: Bomb?(打出)

B1: Double King!

T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(準備開電網(wǎng)門)

S: (回來，看見B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)

B1: （倒)Ah……

T: (氣憤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!

S: She is a monster!

T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)

S: Oh,please don’t……

T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主題曲，走音離譜)

S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱頭)

T: (嗆住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!

B: (真身出現(xiàn))Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(變成太婆) B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?

T: Daughter?...(連忙擋住地尸體)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T擋) S: （咬牙切齒）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T頭，T暈，S再打死B2)

E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)

J: Look,(伸食指)how many?

T:Two…..(暈乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(變成B3)

B3: (看到B1,B2尸體)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊) S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)

T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(險些暈，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives! S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster! T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!

S: (悲，離去)（音樂，營造 “假”悲傷氣氛）《人鬼情未了》

J: boss, brother Monkey is.......

T: Don't mention that guy any more!

B: (出現(xiàn)) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸體B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飄”走)

T: （驚）You are......

B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被擊退)

B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......

S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B暈)A thousand years later.

T: Wukong?

E: Oh,Brother Monkey!

J: Our hero is back!

T: I,I can't understand......What happened?

S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!

T: How,how did you find out?

S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直覺)

T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小聲) S: What?

T: I'm sorry.

S: Em? Louder,please?

T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音樂響）《敢問路在何方》（這個放伴奏） (謝幕)

英語幽默短劇篇三：孔雀東南飛--英語搞笑短劇劇本

焦仲卿johnny(j for short)

劉蘭芝lunch(l for short)

焦母johnny’s mother(jm for short)

劉母lunch’s mother(lm for short)

太守之子mayor’s son(ms for short)

強盜burglars(a b and c)

prologue 序幕

(j作被打狀跑上臺,內(nèi)砸出一卷紙筒,j被打中,狼狽不堪)

j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小聲)while my wife is wusong.

譯：人人都說我怕老婆，實際上我是老虎，（小聲）我妻子是武松。 (指著上臺處的門大聲道)i’m not afraid of you!

譯：我才不怕你呢！

(內(nèi)砸出一臉盆,j接住當成盾牌護著頭)then, i’m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighborhood. she is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i do not care. i only want her to be tenderer than me. but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!

譯：誰怕誰啊！在鄰里中，我妻子是最有名氣的。她比我勇敢、比我聰明、比我強壯。我也不在乎這些。我只覺得她該對我溫柔些，但是她卻不懂溫柔！有這樣的太太就像活在地獄中��！

(內(nèi)又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中j)

my god! who can help me?(下)

譯：我的天！誰來救救我��？

act1 第一幕

(序幕結(jié)束時,jm作竊聽狀)

jm(拄拐棍上):i can!

(對門內(nèi))lunch! lunch! where are you?

l(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內(nèi)跳出來):i’m here! what’s up ，mum?

jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”.

l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?

jm:since you married my son you have behaved so badly. you have been so rude, so brusque,so lazy……

l:but……

jm:never interrupt me!

l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny, i have been working hard all day long, cooking and washing. i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and……

jm: but all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!

l(生氣地揮動著鍋鏟):oh, you want a grandson, don’t you?(開始解圍裙)go and ask your son. i’m leaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在jm的臉上,下)

act2

(lm坐在臺上打毛線,l拿著鍋鏟上)

l: mum, i’m back!

lm: you are back?why? what happened?

l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.

lm(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災樂禍的神情):see! i have already told you! when you insisted on marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly, stupid and poor, but you did not listen to me. look at yourself……

l: but, mum……

lm: never interrupt me!

l: mum, i’m not interrupting you. i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? And i’ll marry whomever you want me to.

lm(大喜): nice girl! just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market. he said, “if your daughter haven’t been married, i really really want to marry her!” now you are free again, i ’ll go and tell him.(下)

l(驚愕): what? the mayor’s son? the most famous playboy in the neighborhood? (手中的鍋鏟掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)

act3

(j睡眼惺忪上)

j(邊走邊道): lunch! lunch! where are my socks?(走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)here they are!(聞一下) er! how smelly! they are still dirty! (突然想起)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself. (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來)oh, i’m so hungry! but there’s no breakfast!(撿起地上的圍裙)this is what lunch always wears! i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! Now she has gone. i have to cook for my mother and myself.

jm(上): where’s my breakfast? where’s lunch? hasn’t she got up yet?

j: mum, can’t you remember? lunch has gone!

jm(沉吟片刻): well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is useless. lunch is a nice girl, go and take her back!

j(立正敬禮): yes madam!

act4

(j開心地走著，忽然跳出來三個強盜)

a: hey you! stop and listen to us!

the road is built by me!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)

b: and i planted one tree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)

c: if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石頭，但踩到了a的腳)

ab&c: give us all your money!

j(搜遍了每一個口袋，掏出1角硬幣):is 1mao enough?

(三強盜暈倒狀，接著三人聚在一邊商量)

a: what bad luck! this guy is broken!

b: if we cannot rob any money today, we will have nothing to eat tonight!

c: i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liu lanzhi next month. we can go and rob the wedding!

a&b: good idea!

j(驚訝): what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!

ab&c: why? a pretty girl and a rich man, what a good couple!

j: but lunch is my wife! we haven’t got divorced yet!(突然有了主意) i’ve got an idea! you are going to rob the wedding, don’t you? i’ll go with you. you take the money and i take the bride.

b: have you got any experience?

(來自:www.newchangjing.com 蒲公英文 摘:英語幽默短劇)

j: no. but i’ve got this!(j脫下鞋子從里面摸出一張支票，上書＄1，000，000) act5

(轉(zhuǎn)眼已到了婚禮之期．ms意氣風發(fā)用紅綢牽著新娘上，j蓋著紅蓋頭極不情愿地被拉上臺)

(j和三強盜躍至臺中)

abc&j: hey you! stop and listen to us!

a: the road is built by me!

b: and i planted one tree.

c: if you want to go by this street---

j: give us all your money!

(l聽到j(luò)的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)

l(驚喜萬分): johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到j(luò)的身邊并躲到了的身后)

(ms大怒，揮拳向j打來．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l暈倒) j(火冒三丈): how dare you beat my wife!（揮拳向ms沖去）

(j與ms混戰(zhàn)，jm上，以拐杖擊暈ms)

(j將ms胸前的新郎標志扯下戴在自己胸前) j(扶起l，關(guān)切地問):honey, how are you? l(哭狀): i hurt a lot!

j: don’t cry baby. i’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下) l(起身去追):wait for me! (跑下)

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